When You Were Mine Read online

"You've got it. I'll be there at five tomorrow morning, elbow deep in muffin batter."

  I'm joking, but the words come out softer and less teasing that I mean them to be.

  "I admit, I was kind of surprised that my mom wanted you to help with baking. You're not exactly an expert in that department."

  He's absolutely right, but now I'm wondering what he thought when Cathy brought it up. Was he worried about seeing me at the diner, or did he ask her why she thought of me for the job?

  No, he wouldn't question her judgement. He's always been so loyal to his parents and he trusts them.

  I've forgotten my own mom's request, and I'm glad that it has sort of come up between us.

  "My mom suggested that we make something for you and your parents. Whatever you want, like dinner. Do you all still like lasagna?"

  It's a stupid question, because who stops liking lasagna? Once a week, like clockwork, Cathy has always made one, with little variations. Sometimes with Alfredo sauce and chicken, other times a traditional meat and red sauce. I can't imagine being able to make one to meet their expectations, but now that I've thought of it, I want to try.

  "Emily made one for us tonight, but we can never have too much. But if you're here all day . . ."

  "We'll have one for you later this week, okay? I'll let you know the day before so you don't make anything else."

  This time, the words come out in a rush to cover the sting of hearing Emily's name. Of course she was ahead of me when it came to helping him, since she's his fiancée.

  She probably cooks better than I do. Most people can.

  "Sure, if it's no trouble. Listen, Jenny, you're doing a lot by working here, and I'm glad my mom asked you to help for the summer. I'll be sorry when you have to go back to school."

  I almost tell him that I won't be leaving again, but something makes me hold back.

  "I'll see you tomorrow, then. Let me know if you or your parents need anything before then, okay, Michael?"

  There's a whisper on the other end, and I wonder if Emily is there, waiting for him to finish our conversation. I wonder if she'll stay with him tonight, if his dad will be at the hospital with his mom and instead of spending the night alone, he'll have Emily to comfort him.

  We never spent a night together, not alone. But we're adults now, and he is planning to marry her.

  "Good night, Jenny."

  I hardly hear him tell me goodbye, and he doesn't wait for me to respond before the line goes quiet, leaving me alone with a train of thought I want to jump from, but can't.

  What they do together is none of my business, but unfortunately, my heart doesn't want to accept that.

  "Do you have a minute?"

  My mom interrupts my unhappy thoughts, knocking gently on my door just as she pushes it open.

  "Sure," I force myself to smile so she won't wonder what's wrong.

  "Your dad and I are excited that you want to stay here instead of going back to college, but we don't want you to do it on account of the baby. I certainly don't expect you to babysit all the time or anything like that."

  I'm taken aback a little, wondering why she would think that I thought this way. Probably because I decided, out of the blue, to stay here after finding out she was pregnant.

  "I'm happy to babysit, not that I know much about babies. Is it really babysitting when it's my own little brother or sister?"

  She steps closer and pulls me into a hug.

  "We want you to live your life however you want. If that's here, wonderful. If it's away at college, that's fine with us, too."

  When she leans away from me and looks into my eyes, she tilts her head and raises her eyebrows.

  "You've never been dissatisfied with Valley Vale before last summer, and I know that breaking up with Michael played a big part in your decision to go away to school rather than staying closer to home."

  It's true, so there's nothing I can say to deny it. I had applied and was accepted to three state universities, two of them close enough to home for me to commute if necessary.

  But I went with the big guns two hours away, which would have been my last choice if Michael and I had remained a couple.

  Whatever I chose, it was because of my relationship with Michael, and I need to decide now what was best for me without him.

  "I want to be here, with you and Dad and Sydney. And the baby. That's really I know right now."

  She nods, but I think she's waiting for more. Waiting to see if I mention Michael.

  When I don't say anything else, she sighs and walks towards the door, pausing for a moment to look back at me with a smile. She looks a little tired, but better than she did yesterday. I wonder if keeping the baby a secret had made the situation even more stressful for her.

  "And tell me if anything is wrong, okay? I'm a big girl now, so let me help."

  She blows a kiss to me and closes the door behind her, leaving me alone again.

  I should still be sleepy, but while my body is tired, my mind is racing.

  There's too much to think about and consider, but I have to focus on the here and now.

  My mom and the baby.

  Cathy. The diner.

  Michael's important, but not like he used to be. Not when he was the only person on my mind most of the time, and my thoughts and plans revolved around him.

  Our mothers have priority over him now, and whatever is possible between us is going to have to happen within this new framework.

  My phone hums on my bed, and I frown, wondering who it could be now. It's revealing that unlike Penny, or Sydney, I don't have a bank of contacts in my phone, friends from school I keep in touch with.

  It's always been just Michael.

  Sure enough, he's sent me a text with only two words.

  chicken alfredo

  His favorite lasagna. I'm going to have to make it for real, and while it probably won't measure up to whatever kind Emily made for him tonight, at least he's thinking of me and looking forward to the meal.

  You got it

  I don't bother to slide under the blankets on my bed, rolling over to plug my phone into the cord that rests on the table before flopping onto my back. My alarm will blare at four-thirty, which seems so soon and yet so far away.

  When I'm finally asleep, I dream of chocolate chip muffins and brownies with whipped cream, arranged on a long table with a stack of china dessert plates on one end. Michael, handsome in a black suit and bow tie, stands behind the table with a muffin in his hand, and laughing, he shoves it into my face. When I look down at the crumbs that fall in front of me, I see that I'm wearing a white gown, and the hand I raise to cover my smiling mouth is wearing Michael's grandmother's ring.

  It's five minutes before my alarm is set to go off when I open my eyes, shaking my head against the vision. That might have been my real life dream not so long ago, but it feels impossible now. I’ve never even seen the ring in real life, but I’ve worked myself up thinking about it so much that I can imagine what it looks like.

  If Emily was wearing that ring, I could accept the impossibility of a future with Michael, but without that proof that Michael is completely finished with us, I allow myself that sliver of hope and roll out of bed, ready for whatever today brings.

  Chapter Twenty Three

  Ellie comes in early and works with me, side by side as she chatters away. She knows everyone in Valley Vale, whether they know her or not.

  It's probably a good idea to stay on her good side.

  "But we all thought you and Michael would marry right out of high school, stay here in Valley Vale and take over the diner."

  Wait, what?

  I must not be paying close attention, because I missed whatever she said that led up to this. Sydney has school today, and I was thinking about how much work she did yesterday. She'll be a big help when school's out, and I'm already looking forward to it.

  "Sorry, Ellie. I was spacing out for a second. You were saying?"

  I keep my focus on the pie cr
ust I've just filled, smoothing down the thick molasses filled with pecans. My dad would run off with this if he could get away with it, even before it was baked.

  "You really have your hands full now, huh? Are you sorry you didn't stay at college for the summer?"

  Shaking my head, I slip the pie on a baking sheet along with another one. Every day a different pie is featured, and apparently pecan is the best way to get through a Monday here in town.

  It also sounds like a good lunch idea. I could warm up a slice and add a scoop of vanilla ice cream, some caramel, maybe some whipped cream . . .

  That last image reminds me of my dream, and I look over at Ellie, who is waiting for my response.

  "Oh, no. Besides, I'd have to find an apartment and work, and if I'm not taking classes that doesn't make much sense."

  She hasn't come back to her comment about Michael and me, and I'm not about to ask her.

  The back door opens, and Michael, along with his dad, comes in, their faces close together as they speak. Both of them have heads full of hair sticking straight up, and I can't help but smile. Cathy would get a kick of seeing them like this, but she'd worry about them, too.

  "And Emily's going to stop to pick those up for us later."

  When I hear Emily's name from Michael's lips, I press my own lips together and look back at Ellie.

  She has the same look on her face as Mary did yesterday afternoon. After she shakes her head at me, she walks away and meets the two men halfway across the kitchen.

  They talk shop, about orders and ovens, pies and paperwork, and I start a fresh batch of pie filling, my gloves sticking to the ingredients with their sugary coating.

  "Back for more, huh?"

  Michael never used to be able to sneak up on me like this, but he's done it again, and I have to laugh at how easily he's managed to catch me off guard.

  "Sorry, I know that nothing is funny right now."

  "That's okay. It's good to hear you laugh," he leans forward a little, and I look away. We aren't alone, and maybe that's a good thing.

  I can't help but feel like if Emily wasn't in the picture, we might have a chance to try again.

  But that's not her fault.

  "When is a good day for that lasagna?"

  I don't look at him when I ask, but he doesn't answer. Instead, his dad's arm goes around my shoulders and he pulls me against him. The simple gesture brings tears to my eyes.

  There has to be a way to keep these tears from appearing at the worst times.

  "Hey, what's that for?"

  I swallow hard and sniffle, determined not to let my own feelings be a burden to him.

  Or Michael.

  "Nothing, just a long day yesterday. Nothing like you and Michael had to go through."

  Mark pats my back and releases me. I don't dare look away from him, knowing that Michael is probably watching us.

  "Did I hear something about lasagna? We had one last night, but could always use another. And when Cathy comes home, she'll want to cook, so having one on the way or in-house will put a stop to that."

  "But she'll be okay?"

  I can't just accept his easy talk about food, knowing how close this family is, and want to be sure of what's really going on. He won't tell me she's fine if she isn't.

  "She needs to rest, and there's more tests they want to run. Probably some meds, I don't know."

  His hand rises to nest in his hair, a movement his son clearly picked up from him.

  "I really want to help, so please tell me whatever you need. Any of you."

  When his gaze rises and fixes behind me, I know he's looking at Michael, and I have no idea what sort of communication is passing between them.

  "We don't want to keep you from having fun this summer, though. We're going to have to hire some more help, and soon we'll have the high schoolers available more, like your sister. I hear she did a great job yesterday."

  I nod, and realize that I'm twisting my apron in my hands, so I drop my arms to my sides.

  "I'm not worried about the summer. Sydney and I are taking a road trip at some point, but I have plenty of time. If you need me after, I'm happy to stay on."

  He frowns, and his focus shifts behind me again quickly, then back again.

  "What do you mean? Don't you go back to college in August?"

  Oh, man. I didn't think when I was speaking, and now there's no way to take it back. It's not a secret, though, not like my mom's pregnancy, and there's no reason other people, or at least Michael and Mark, shouldn't know.

  "No, I'm not."

  This reminds me that I need to get on the university website and cancel my classes when I get home. I forgot to do it this weekend.

  I should also text Penny, and figure out when she can visit as well as tell her the news.

  She might not get a roommate as tolerant of her extracurricular activities for the next school year. Better yet, maybe she'll have more difficult classes and need more time to study, less time for romance.

  "What do you mean?"

  Michael's voice rises as Ellie pushes between Mark and me.

  "We need to keep these pies moving. You all can chat later, but we have a business to run."

  Mark laughs, sounding more relaxed than when he came in, but Michael doesn't say anything.

  "We'll be picking Cathy up early this afternoon. Hopefully she's sleeping now, which is why I've stayed away. If I was there now, she'd be awake and talking about the diner. As if it would fall apart without her."

  It would if left too long, I think but I don't say it out loud. The very idea is upsetting, and I hope we never find out what life here at the diner would be like without her.

  "Was everything okay at school, Jenny?"

  While Mark heads for the dining room, Michael lags behind, speaking quietly so only I can hear. Ellie tugs on my elbow, and I shake my head.

  "It was fine. Just not for me, I guess."

  He opens his mouth a little, as if he's about to say something else, then closes it. I catch myself looking at his lips, and turn away to find Ellie watching us with one of her knowing smiles.

  "You kids are so predictable. Get going, Michael. Your dad's waiting for you."

  I don't know how she knows this for sure. For all we know, Mark's in the dining room getting himself some coffee.

  Besides, what does she mean by predictable?

  "Can we talk later, Jenny?"

  I shrug. There's not much more I can say about college, except what I told him, which I now realize is true. I'm not just staying home because of the baby, or because I want to help here while Cathy recovers. I wasn't happy at school, and I don't feel like it was moving towards a career that I want.

  There's nothing more that I can tell him than that. The baby is my parents' news to share, and I don't want to say anything before they're ready and upset them.

  "Okay, good. Thanks, Ellie, for all the extra work yesterday."

  She grabs a damp towel that is resting on the counter and smacks him with it.

  "Get out of here. Some of us have work to do."

  As always, she's teasing, and it makes Michael smile. I can't help but smile back, and for some reason, his smile falters just enough for me to notice right before he turns and walks towards the door to the dining room.

  "Now, I'm not saying that I don't like Emily. She's a nice girl, and so pretty. You'd think she would be modeling or on TV somewhere."

  I cringe at Emily's name. What is Ellie talking about now? Did Michael hear what she said before he left the kitchen?

  Besides, I've seen Emily. She's perfect, so there's no refuting Ellie's claim.

  "Yeah, so?"

  I start adding ingredients to the metal bowl in front of me, and nearly drop a bottle of dark Karo syrup, top open, down the front of my apron.

  Ellie takes it from me and waves it in front of my face.

  "If you had stayed here, where you belong, you'd be the one wearing a ring, and not her. How much more plain can I get?"<
br />
  Not much. It's good to hear, but that doesn't solve anything.

  What good does that do me now that he's with Emily? He must love her, or he wouldn't have proposed. If there were just dating, maybe there was a chance. A bigger one, anyway.

  The matter of the ring still makes me wonder.

  "I have a lot on my mind, and aside from all of that, I don't want to be the girl who tries to steal another woman's man. It sounds like a country song."

  Ellie snorts, and I can't help but laugh.

  "Sure does. Nothing wrong with that."

  She shakes me a little so I have to look at her directly. There's nothing humorous in her tone now, and she's put the bottle of syrup down and is pointing in my face with her index finger.

  "Marriage is a serious step. Both people should have their hearts completely in it, for the long haul."

  She should know. Her husband had been the center of her life for decades before he died four years ago in a car accident. They had no children, and the two of them were inseparable.

  "If there are any doubts on either side, it shouldn't happen."

  Her finger presses gently into my collarbone, but I don't look away from her gaze.

  "That boy sure has a big doubt, right here."

  She taps me once, then turns away, leaving me to wonder what in the world I'm supposed to do about her assessment. It makes me feel good that she thinks he still has feelings for me, not just some sort of nostalgia for how we used to be.

  But I can't just tell him that I want him back.

  Can I?

  "Hi, ladies. Is there anything I can do to help?"

  A sweet voice that is entirely sincere pulls my attention from my thoughts, and I pick up the bottle of syrup and start pouring a big glob of it into the bowl.

  Emily stops a few feet away from me, her smile tentative.

  "I'm not much of a baker. More of a cook. But I can clean up, or take food from the kitchen to the case up front."

  I stare at the dark, gooey syrup as it thins into a sticky stream.

  "Uh, why don't you ask Ellie. She's really the boss here, and I'm dealing with pies right now."

  Instead of walking away immediately, she waits, and after a few moments, I glance sideways at her.

  "Did you need something else?"